Posted by: a_squared on
A big thing for me on this journey is holding myself accountable for my failures. This past week presented me with my first, which was my gaining 1.5 lbs. I, however, am not surprised. I thought the repercussions would be worse for my actions (well, inaction, I should say) last week. I had the number 4 tattooed in my mind, which represented what I thought I would gain. How empty I allowed by stomach to get and what I'd follow by eating, i.e. carbs I thought I'd done myself in. Legitimately, I have to say, I think I lost 2 or 3 pounds over Winter break, so when I saw that 5.5 loss last week, I knew with certainty this week I would experience backlash. I've got myself on a regular schedule of eating again, which sometimes I fail to realize the importance. You know what, too? I am beginning to see that I am not in touch with my body. Some people just know, they can feel when they've gained or lost. I often feel like an amorphous blob, lol. Anyhow, I hear it's very important as a girl/woman to be aware of your body especially because of the alerts it sends you. Reflecting on it now, that is pretty crucial whether it regards eating, exercising, stress, etc. I wonder do you do anything specific to avoid that oblivion or is it the more that I challenge my body, the more union I will begin to feel? I don't know, but I digress. Did I mention I had a dream that I binged on Thursday night? What was that about? No idea, but I remember feeling guilty as I slept, seeing myself stuff my mouth with donuts. I think it was that Men of a Certain Age commercial I saw before bedtime. The stuff nightmares are made of, I tell you! I have got two more people for support! One to walk with, and one to experiment with aerobic classes being offered at our recreation center. I also have the goal of eating nothing fried this week, not even as a little cheat - no fries, no chips besides my Baked Doritos, no chicken patties, etc. Now that I speak of it, I find that weaning myself from chicken is quite DIFFICULT. Maybe I should try my darndest not to eat that either. I survived on tuna all this week, so maybe if I can cut out chicken, tuna will be my worst enemy before vegetarianism, which isn't as difficult to stop eating. I made a fitness calendar in Word, lol, which is exciting. There is also a great tool entitled 90-Day Fitness Journal by Rose Sery I've got. Pick it up! Or maybe I'll scan it to show you all what it's like. Time to get down to business.
Loads of rambling, but
Health and happiness, ladies
