The Biggest Loser League

I though I was doing ok with all the deaths in the last 8 months, we had 10 of them. The lastest was my hubands aunt/stepmom. She is my mother-inlaws' sister but over time they married my husbands dad.I was dreaming about my mom moving off my grandparents farm for good. They were the last 2 to go before now. I was crying in my dream and the crying for real. I woke up just sobbing letting everything out in private. It was 5:30 am so I wiped my tears and got some work done. I need to fax some papers of my aunts to a bussness for her affairs. I talk about the people I have lost to others and they cant believe I am still standing and how strong I am. I took control of my aunts death because no one else could handle it. It happened right out of the blue. Two days before she was having dinner with us then in a coma for 7 days then gone forever. I have bben trying to work out my grief with exersice but not to the exstint to just touch the surface. I geuss I just put myself on auto pitol to hide my emotions to get through all the things that need to get done with the kids, the stuff left behind by others for the family. We have family members that makes that hard because they will not be fair on dividing things because they are gready. My aunt would tell us every time she got something new she was asked do I get that when you die. The same members were asking for things over comatosed body to me. I guess they knew I was going to be in charge one way or another. I dont mind being in charge sence her sisters dont live near by to do it. There is no will so that makes it real hard to please everyone. The pictures are the easy part. I am sending them to the folks in them. I pray for wisdom in this matter.I know God will give it.

I aslo got my meal plan together this moring and fixed almost every thing.

My family has let our aunt go off suport and she passed away peacefuly on Tuesday night. I have taken care of all the arrangements for her service and remains. By the grace of God all things were done in a graceful maner. I will be stressed for the May bills because I had to get a payday loan for the creamation. I had 24 hrs to get 670.87 or pay 1,020 for the alternate payment fee. My loan was 400 but I pay back 460. I took our money we were saving for a vacation to Disney in 5 yrs. That was 65. I also took my gas money to come up with 491.87. My aunt's work came up with 185. I was happy to call the family that we did not need to pay the extra amount. I also found some things out from the funral home to not get stuck with some extra fees is to put what you want done with your body in writing. I had to pay $45 for them to call all her siblings to see if they all agree on the creamation. I have been praised by the family that lives 3 hrs away to other members out of state how they could not do what I am doing with the preperations and beening strong. We all have had the same #s of deaths but I guess I am showing what I am realy made of and my inner strength.The service is on Monday with a potluck. I will cook healthy for that.

I have gotten some chocolates to eat for stress. I have been going everywhere getting things done. I got a mixture milk,dark and extra dark chocolates. Meals has also been off as well. We have been cook what is easy and quick but not healthy. I will be back on track soon.