The Biggest Loser League

So I'm reading the "Sword of Truth" series by Terry Goodkind and I LOVE it. And one of the quotes from the novel "Naked Empire" in the series is, "Hope is not a strategy." While that quote was about people fighting for liberty and how they just couldn't sit back and hope the enemy wouldn't destroy them, and NOT weight loss, I still thought that this had meaning for my battle against the bulge.

As we've all learned by watching TBL - hope is completely ineffective in terms of results with weight loss. Honestly, it's an ineffective state of mind in terms of results with ANYTHING in our lives, isn't it? I think so!

So this week after weeks of frustrations because while my body and mind have been feeling stronger (and showing results) but the scale not budging..I made some actual changes. Obviously what I was doing wasn't cutting it and keeping my actions the same, but hoping for better results wasn't working!  So I did more digging around about calories in vs. out, formulas to achieve success, etc. And so far this week it is working!  My official weigh-in days are Tuesdays and this Tuesday I was 184.4 - well here it is Friday and I'm 182.6. I am feeling pretty confident that Tuesday will show a payoff.  I just have to stay the course and stick with the formulas!  Will keep posted!

Well POOP!

I had hoped that I'd be down, but I'm not. I weighed 183.6 last Tuesday and here I am at 184.4.  I've been so very diligent counting calories and tracking food- AND ramping up my workouts.

Honestly? I think that my problem is that I do not know for sure what is the number of calories I need to be consuming to ensure the weight loss. I know I'm working hard and pushing myself - so it has to be that I'm still eating too much...or not enough.  GRRRR Anyone have any ideas as to where I can find an accurate Caloric counter to follow and make sure I start losing again?!

Other than that..I'm feeling great and looking great. Just not losing great!

I THINK ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME....(or so it seems). It's a little scary actually. But it's true - I do. I think about what I will eat on my next meal and the meals after. Now some would say this is good - it's good to plan. But I don't know. I hate the fact that my mind is so focused on my stomach so often! In the past that hasn't exactly worked out to my advantage...ya know?! Ha!!!  But there it is. So what I've been trying to do is immerse myself in the planning and counting of it all.  My son and I have also gone back and started watching Season 7 of TBL and just sinking into the contestants' stories (DUDE...was Joelle dead inside or WHAT?!). See we didn't start watching the show for the first time until Season 8, and we love it. But going back and watching Season 7 (which really was kind of different and rocking wasn't it?) has really been even more inspiring and helpful in regards to food. I'm just learning a lot. About food. About me. About habits. About excuses.

So even though I'm sitting here already thinking about lunch (and I haven't finished my breakfast yet..!)...I'll just try to think of how to do it right!?  RIGHT?!

I felt like kicking the scale this morning. Seriously.  I think it likes to play with my head and emotions. And it always seem to be one step ahead of me. (I actually think it might be working in tandem with my appetite...)

*sigh* My activity level is great. My workouts are defined and strong and my body is reaping the benefits. However, my food intake is still my biggest problem. I can't get the scale to start showing lower numbers.  

I know that it takes time. I know that our bodies reach a point where they hold onto that weight for all they are worth.  I know I still have to work harder on portion control.  I also know I've sped up my metabolism and get hungry a LOT - so I'm learning what foods help me feel full longer etc.

But dammit. Even though I know all of those things and expect them - today I wanted to kick the scale for once again refusing to budge.

Butthead.

I'm a 41 year-old single mom to a fantastic 12 year old boy who is just started the 7th grade.  We've been on our own for 10 years and the years have weighed heavily on me. YES I made a pun! Always intended!!! A couple of years ago I was approaching my 39th birthday and the switch just went off in my brain. Everything clicked. I had to make changes for my health.  I didn't have any kind of medical situation arise, other than the nagging I would receive from my doctor during yearly exams, etc. Slight elevations of blood pressure, asthma being more active, etc. Nothing that I could claim made me sit up and take notice, you know? But the switch still went off.

I was going to be turning 40 the next year and I looked HORRIBLE. I didn't look anything like other 40 year old women I knew or watched on TV or the movies. I would end up embarrasing my boy as he grew up. I hadn't been heavy my entire life - only post-baby. What in the hell was I letting happen to me? How could I expect my son to have more variety and health in his diet if I was a fat slob?! (He's never had a weight problem but I worried about diet-induced diabetes since he's so picky and loves the carbs!)

Well the switch went off and I got to work. I started tracking everything I ate and working out. My best friend was going through something similar and even though she lives far away - we were able to share this journey. I refused to do any kind of big name "diets" because I have to be able to know what to do when I'm working with my own groceries and/or eating out, etc.  While I can't deny that the appeal of losing weight quickly is tempting - I was too afraid of regaining it.  I wanted to learn to do it right. Keep it off. Change my LIFE. I lost 35 pounds by early spring of 2008.  And I then I just kind of stuck. I was still tracking my food and exercising regularly but nothing was coming off. Work got very stressful. . . I gained a few pounds. Come October of 2008, I lost my job when the company I worked for went out of business.  By February of 2009, I was back up to 192 pounds. I had stopped tracking food. I did still workout - but not with the same regularity.

By July of 2009 my son and I had to move back in with my mom since I had still been unsuccessful with finding a new regular job.  That move triggered me to start really focusing more on me.  I figured that I couldn't really sell myself to potential employers if I hadn't sold myself on what I needed to do, you know? So I found the small funds to re-join 24Hour Fitness. I started watching The Biggest Loser for the first time ever. I got my son to be even more active (he currently does karate 3 times per week) and started to really make some changes with food.  We still like to eat what we like, but we're working hard to watch the combinations and bring more health into our food intake. I started to track what I eat and calories/fat this time. I joined this league. I am now heading to the gym 5-6 times per week. And really starting to push the distance and myself. I am seeing and feeling some changes to my body that I haven't seen in a long time. The scale isn't really moving though. I hope it does soon!

I am, as of today, 184 lbs. My goal is 135 (if I can make it) but I'll be happy with 140 lbs.  I'm only 5' 4 1/2 and never been uber thin. More like an athletically trim build, if you know what I mean. Not husky at all - just lean and fit. That is what I want. My body ideals are Jessical Biel, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, and Jennifer Aniston.  Especially Jessica B. and the Jennifers. They are fit and healthy without being too skinny.

I'm Jenn and I'm pleased to be a part of something so great!